how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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