Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
