I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
