Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
