How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
