just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
40s are totally the cure
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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