You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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