I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
