I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You should frame my arrest warrant.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
