so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
