I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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