was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
