Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She's the barista slut.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
