She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
