yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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