So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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