I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
