It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
