He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
