connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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