guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
