So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Enjoy the penises
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
