He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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