I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
