I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
