i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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