yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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