Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
