Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
