Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
