No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
