think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
