My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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