So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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