Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
