Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
