We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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