Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
