no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize