No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
