I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
