Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
