I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
