oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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