He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
