It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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