Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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