he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
