i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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