i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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