Screwed.edu
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
