Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
