don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
