I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i will never coherently bang her
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
