i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
