I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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