So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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