i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize