I wish I could punch you in the face.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
