It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it was like having sex with a tree stump
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
