some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I want to have your abortion
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
soo... how was my night?
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