A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
