I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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